when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize