Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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