You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
