ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
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Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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