I must be too annoying 4 u.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
