you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
