It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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