She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
