you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Enjoy the penises
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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