We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize