so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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