My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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