Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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