I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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