What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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