the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
