so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
