ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
