Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
