i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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