toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
