so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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