oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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