Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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