I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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