id be glad to
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
