this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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