I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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