Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
