Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
