there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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