It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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