Porn is love you can see.
People in love make me want to vomit
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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