so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
