im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
