i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize