I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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