I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
