i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
