I just gift wrapped bread.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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