I am puke
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
