the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
