apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
