it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
