Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
