I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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