So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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