Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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