whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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