Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
