i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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