I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
