I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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