that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
