Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
