they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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