Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
